Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Bad Boy

I must have put the emphasis on the wrong syllable as I gestured toward the picture of pie and said, "You want that bad boy?"
Table #68 man looks surprised and says, What?!"
I giggle as I realize what I have done.
He may be in more often now.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Possible Explosive Ass

At what point did it become socially acceptable to say, "I need to be seated close to the bathroom." ? Ick ick ick!!! Stay home people!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Table #54

Table #54: Will the sun shine through (windows) and get us?
Me: I don't know. It depends if the clouds move.

Table #10

Me: Hello. My name is Angel. I will be your server.
Table #10: Is that your real name or your stage name?
Me: I will not be dancing today.

Table #58

Woman at table #58: (of her Eggs Benedict) Can I get the eggs scrambled instead of basted?
Me: Sure
Man at table #58: She's worried they won't be cooked enough and that they aren't safe.
Me: We haven't killed anyone yet.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP tucking the paper napkin in your collar before you commence to eatin' your grub in public. STOPPPPPPPP! It's just icky.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I Hear Odd Things

Old woman: What are you having?
Old man: Pulled Pork.
Old woman: How far you gonna pull it?
Old man: Up to my mouth.

Different table-

"Thank God for Dick Cheney for making us safer."

Saturday, June 4, 2011

My Coping Skills

There is a regular that comes in several times a week. He never says more than 10 words, sits in the same 2 booth area and does not require much tending. He also does not tip. Ever.
There is the fabled dollar he left some years back but no picture of said dollar can be produced.
We wait on him. We talk to him. We smile at him and make him welcome. He gets reasonably good service and we ignore his glaring lack of monetary etiquette.
How do I do this happily, week after week, month after month, knowing he is a seemingly TOTAL cheapskate?
Secretly I fantasize that he is filthy rich and has left us all in his will.
Time will tell.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Another Day of Fun

Freshly used gauze: Maybe they needed it to soak up the soup at the bottom.

I have not decided if I am going to take responsibility for that or not.

"The cloak of invisibility"

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Potential Shooter

I often wonder why waitresses don't snap more often. Damn! People can be downright rude.
Restaurantal expectations should gradually heighten the higher ones tab is and for a $200.00 meal and a $40 dollar tip, you may snap your fingers once or twice at the help. But, for a $4.99 plate of ass widening pancakes and a glass of water, you would do well to say please and thank you, because the girl delivering that pile of hot syrupy goodness is really a potential shooter.