Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Another Day at the Office

Coffee does not get cold in the thermos. It will stay hot for 10 hours or better.

Coffee does not get "burnt" in a thermos. Don't tell me it tastes burnt. Reality. Taste reality. Grrr.

Do people really expect a single place to cater to their gluten, fat, sodium, sugar, IBS, carb and dairy restricted diets? EAT AT HOME! IT'S A PIE SHOP! WITH PANCAKES AND FRIED FOOD AND CHEESE and BREAD!

No! I will not take the 5 almond slivers off the top of your banana cream pie. Lazy ass. Get to picking.

If I arrive at a table to do my job...(feed the hungry customer)...why don't they stop talking and acknowledge my presence? Is it really a surprise that I need to talk to them?

I just wonder why the people who look at me with their heads cocked sideways in puzzlement always tip me the most. I must confuse them and they leave too much money.

If a customer has the time and desire to complain that someone else's piece of pie does not have crumblies on the top like the picture does...HOLY SHIT! They have tooooooo much time on their hands. It's obvious they need more problems.

If you cannot pronounce focaccia even after I have said it twice...well, I am going to have to judge you.

Do not tip less than you pay in tax. The Karmic results are nothing less than tragic.

If your requests are so weird that you know you should warn me, then I like you extra. No worries!

The stuff in the pink packets is Nutra Sweet. Or sweet death. It is not pink sugar. Dumbass.

My customers may, at any time feel feel to ask me if I am going to college. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. Thank you table #22. :)

If a person does not work for the company, they should not be in the back of the house. I take no responsibility for anything they see or hear at that point.

Yes, my mother named me well.

No I am not really an Angel.

Yes, I am trying to live up to it. It is a process.

Ill tempered people do not get the big piece of pie. Oh yes, they are not cut equally.

For the love of all that is good and holy in the world, DO NOT order hot water with lemon. It's stupid and we want to charge you for it.

If anyone chooses to display any oddity in their characters via their food...I will take a picture and share it with others.

If you make your child say please and thank should too.

Eating out is for happy people who want to have a good time.

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