Friday, April 16, 2010

Freak Accident

I hope there is never a freak accident involving pie. At least not on the news and not with my name attached to it.

What's the point of sugar free syrup? Is it so the pancakes only make your ass a
little bigger?

My day is incomplete unless I've dipped at least one of "my girls" in whipped cream.

The Parsley Lobby must consist of Thugs and Ne'er do wells. I can not imagine restaurants would use this pointless crap uncoerced.

The customers can not hear what is said in the pantry. Right? I mean..there is the "cone of silence". Right?

Why would a person accentuate their ugly with a gaudy kerchief?

I can tell that the girl at table #60 is a stripper by the way she approaches her dining experience.

The stripper at #60 is also the one who got whacked by the ugly stick. I know. I don't get it either. It must be really dark in the club!

Without my name tag on I am lost and confused.

Has anyone at the corporate office ever even been in a restaurant?

How does whipped cream keep ending up on my ass?

You are my ONLY customer.

How does your pie taste?

The customer is not always right. I do not know why this lie is being perpetuated. It does no one any good at all.

Waitressing has been in my family many millennia. Our woman have evolved larger breasts for the sole purpose of counter-balancing the weight of a tray.

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